Wednesday, February 16, 2011

February 14, 2011. Oh Hai Guys

Back in the summer of 1995, my brother and I made a grave discovery.
Yes, that's right, I said brother. Most of you know me as an only child, but I wasn't an only child by choice. You see, that summer, my brother and I were playing a round of Ouija board and faking Pagan rituals in a manner that was meant to honor the dead. Unfortunately, like pain killers and hard liquor, the Ouija board mixed with the rituals proved to be lethal.
We raised a zombie. I ran, but my brother wasn't so lucky, tripped, knocked himself unconscious and was consumed by the zombie.
I was scared at first and and no matter how hard that I tried I couldn't run away; and even though I didn't have the courage to fight I had to watch bite after bite, until I couldn't take anymore and fought the zombie myself, I had no weapons, so I tried to bite it.
Turns out zombies taste like bacon.
Out of my spite for zombies, I eat bacon in hopes that I'm exacting my revenge.

I'm back, here's a Valentine:

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